8 Year Patchy Longer then necessary ramble

8 Year Patchy Longer then necessary ramble From CouragetoChange on 7/4/2010 10:28:00 PM

I give thanks to my God, Moonchaser, and all of the Quitnet for this quit, that I know would have been impossible without all three. But of course because Quitnet makes it possible to connect with quitbuds, most of the the human credit goes to Moonchaser, who helped me and actually listened to me when all that stuff was coming out of my keyboard and onto quitnets otherwise lovely pages. I can relate so well to people who come in and say I am so pissed off! LOL I was! It was tough then, I was getting ready to jump ship and try some other way which would not have worked cuz God wanted me here, and I had all these people writing and asking what was wrong and I was happy to tell them what was wrong, most didn't write back lol. I am truly sorry for those replies and I appreciated then and still do the concern and kindness, but I was not ready to receive it. But it was about that time when Moon got the same idea and she wrote. Arrgggg!!!!!!! How many times do I have to tell people to go away, you'd think the word would spread, so she had some nerve! But we had a journey to take, and at some point we found we had two days between us, only Moon was not committed to her quit, and that made me made because she came to save my ass just so she could bail? I don't think so. She gave me something to focus on besides my own petty stuff, and somehow we became a team and we did this together day by day. I can't stress enough to the new people, find a friend to hang on to cuz you're gonna need them, when no one else understands or wants to try and understand, your friend who knows exactly where you are, will, cuz she knows, shes right with you. When I was at the family reunion things got pretty slippery, internet was bad and I was scared so I finally got on and sent out some sos, Moon got me right back and you know it didn't matter what she said, just that this woman knows me and she supports me even today she's the first to answer the call for help. I was so glad to get home though. I love people who come in here wagging their finger saying, "You must have a Quit date" or "You must have a plan!" And I say to those statements loud and proud, "Bull****!" You quit how you quit, and if you're quit today then you're a success. I quit without a planned quit, I quit without throwing my cigs away and doing a dumpster dance. I'm an addict, and that makes me a person who can tell fibs to myself, every quitdate I ever made I sabotaged, every pack I did the dumpster dance with I just replaced. I was hopeless with quitdates. I stopped pretty much on the spot after I smoked all my cigs and half my neighbors. I stayed on the patch ten days and quit that, went through the rest of the withdrawals, but those ten days gave me time to accept that I wasn't smoking. You know if you can keep a quitdate, that's great, to those of you who can not, don't. Quitdates are only important after the fact when you start celebrating every minute your quit, then you have a point of reference. I am living proof that you don't need either a quit date or a plan, but you must quit, there are just way to many reasons to not smoke, its killing you and people around you one puff at a time. But you know that cuz you're here. So the story doesn't change, no quitdate, no plan, no dumpster dance, just quit, came to quitnet, got mad, met Moon and we did it together, that's my story and eight years later its still the truth. The change? Its far easier then it used to be, I can't even describe the freedom, you just have to experience it. Back to engaging in my materialistic addictions, I love the first step in the CR program which basically says we're powerless over everything, I was never materialistic until I quit smoking lol. But I'm getting a computer, well in parts and then its going to get put together downtown cuz there's no way its gonna happen here, too dusty and static, but its exciting. Those newbies out there, I promise you there is no better place to quit smoking then the Quitnet, no better time to quit then right now, this minute, no better way to quit then the way that works for you, and its all possible with a little help from some friends who are doing the same. Its not easy for a while but worth every second, and its these hard times that are gonna make you think twice before deciding to try again when life gets easier and it will.  Thank Q :) God bless you guys, Love Ya! ((((((((((((((((((Moon))))))))))))))))) ((((((((((((Jeri))))))))))) and everyone else too. Sorry for the patchy ramble lol, I'm still shopping mentally. :) hugs, Carla